Friend

The other day an acquaintance was "friended" on a computer, cyberspace, social networking and general gathering place.
That prompted me to ask him the question:
How do you define "friend"

I ask that because we all have our associations, and associates, acquaintances, buddies, contemporaries, companions, comrades, fellow countrymen, neighbors, and let's not forget enemies, and foes, as well as regular ol' friends, both close and distant.
That circle of friendly, or not, associations can also include family members, close and distant

These can all be "friends" at one time or another, but what, really, is a friend?

The Bible addresses a friend, friends, and even friendships. It speaks mainly to the relationship of people to people, or one to another. (Try looking up all the "one another's" in the Bible, it's an eye opener.)
The key factor is that there has to be a relationship in some fashion for there to be friendship, truly.
God's word speaks of friendship in many different forms, but perhaps the most important is the way the book of Proverbs puts it:
Proverbs 18:24 says it his way. "He that makes many friends does it to his own destruction; But there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.
I think that it is saying you can have too many "friends" that are not really friends. They are better known as associates, or acquaintances, and that can be very detrimental, because they are not friends.
Perhaps if we used the proper terms for relational connections, and what portion of our "timespent" we invest with those connections in their various forms.

The Bible does speak to true friendship. "…he who would lay down his life for his friends."
Namely Jesus Christ in His ultimate gift of sacrificing Himself upon the cross to pay our sin debt. He gives us an example in His own actions in that He values His "friends" so highly that he made sure there was a way for all of them (us) to go to His home and live with Him in His own Father's house, forever in the joy of God, without pain or suffering.
Wow what a gift.
What a friend.
That is the example that we need to look toward, albeit not looking forward to a sacrifice like that for our own friends here on earth, because that is not possible or even realistic. That's why we only need to believe in Christ's work as the Son of God to be granted that free gift.

With women, friendship is usually easier in that they are more relational but men are mostly not.
I've long wondered about friends and how to be a good one. I find that, like many men, I am selfish. My time is my own, I don't want to share it with another.
Or at least very few.
It takes a lot of work, on my part, to be a friend.
I have to extend myself to others.
I have to allow myself to be vulnerable, to trust others, be available and listen.
That's an expense of energy that I do not hand out without first giving much thought to.

Nevertheless there are certain individuals that I like to be with, and around.
I like to engage in discussion with and work side by side with them.

I have a lovely bride, I call a friend, that I love to be with.
To hear her voice is music to my soul. I was attracted to her by her love of God and her intelligent discussion of the things of God. Here was a jewel that I did not deserve, yet the great God in heaven saw that we'd be a good match and made it so. I thank Him daily for our friendship.
I can spend much time on her, and for her, and with her. It is an investment that I set myself aside to make.

There are others in my life, and as I get older, I want to spend more time with them, but I find that our conversations mean more when I'm talking about things of God and the Bible.
Politics, events and the weather only carry you so far in that they are all temporary, but since the Word of God stands forever, we should be spending more time on it, in it, and with it.
Speaking of the word and since we're speaking of friends the word also says some harsh things about friendship.
James 4:4 says that "friendship with the world is enmity with God." Translated further it means that a philia (brotherly) love or a fondness for this world's stuff is a hostility against God. This word hostility, is the root word for hate, hateful, or even actively hostile or an enemy.
So I guess what I'm trying to emphasize is, while we will continually make acquaintances, we must cultivate friends, and yes that takes work. It takes timespent.
So, how are you spending your time?